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Friday, June 01, 2007
(12:59 PM) | Stephen:
Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Republicans?

A poll just conducted in New York shows Hillary Clinton trouncing Rudy Giuliani at 52% to 39%, which is not too surprising. Slightly more unexpected is that Barack Obama also comes out way ahead of Giuliani, 50% to 40%.

At least, it's unexpected according to not only the media myths surrounding Giuliani but also the way that Democrats have been moaning about his candidacy, how Giuliani will use his 9/11 performance to dominate the field and become the next President. Hogwash. New Yorkers pretty much hate the guy and tend to really like Hillary. And remember that this poll, as well as Hillary's two electoral victories, covered the whole state, not just NYC - though Hillary beats out Rudy there as well.

I think the real reason that Giuliani has been so fearsome to Democrats is because we are still so convinced that we're going to lose. Last November's stunning results are viewed as an aberration by Democrats way more than by even the most hardened GOP politician or operative. We're certain that a combination of idiocy on the part of our candidate along with the GOP's ability to find a cipher into which Americans project all their hopes and dreams will assure a Republican in the White House in 2009.

The bogeyman had been McCain, who was going to coast to an easy primary victory and then crush the Dem nominee under the weight of his seriousness about Iraq and his steeley-eyedness and, I don't know, his large penis or something. But McCain is well begun on his total breakdown that will most likely end with his exit from public life completely.

Now that Giuliani is starting to show chinks in his 9/11 and "Nation's Mayor" armor, he's losing a bit of the aura that's been surrounding him whenever Democrats fearfully gaze his way. The plain fact is that he's an extremely unlikable fellow who, people in NYC now realize, either became or always was a power mad petty tyrant who would make George Bush's power grabs look amateurish. The more people see of him - and the more he dumps on Iowa farmers just because they're not millionaires - the less they like him.

Enter Fred Thompson. Now he's supposed to be the GOP's messiah, the man with nothing but appeal appeal appeal. He's an actor on Law & Order, and people like that show! And he was a Senator for a little while, and did some other acting. Yippee. I understand that the GOP is enamored with whatever entertainer they can actually get on their side - much more than Democrats are - but Fred Thompson is a sign of how bad things have become for the Republicans, not a sign of their permanent electoral majority.

Sure, everybody has heard of Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, and of course Law & Order: That One Where It Was A Reality Show Or Something. But it's not like these are the highest rated shows on TV. The original franchise has been around for almost 20 years, so it enjoys a name recognition far greater than its actual popularity. Thompson's inclusion in the cast is not the surefire winner it would be if he was the host of Deal or No Deal or some other embarrassment.

The possibilities for parody are endless. The avenues to make Thompson appear like he's running a silly vanity campaign are so simple and obvious that even Democratic consultants might be able to figure them out. We can also be sure that much will be made of his involvement in impeaching Bill Clinton. The media still hasn't figured out that the majority of the American public has never agreed with their assessment of Bill Clinton and never will. So all the breathless reporting of Thompson as a key player in the farce that was the Clinton impeachment, intended to give Thompson a statesmanlike air, will instead just make him look like another GOP asshole lecturing Clinton - and the rest of us - on what proper morality is.

Whatever, doodz. I'm not worried about any of the current GOP candidates. I am, however, quite worried about the other half of the losing equation for Democrats, which is the continued reliance upon utter idiots working as campaign consultants. Bob Shrum in particular has got to be the stupidest person to ever work on a campaign, anywhere. Add to that the way Dem consultants get paid a percentage of the money they spend, and the Democrats managing to pull defeat from the jaws of victory in 2008 is all too real.

Worrying about whatever goofball has most recently joined the GOP field of candidates wastes energy that could be better used to continue pressuring Dem campaigns to do the exact opposite of whatever Bob Shrum and all the little shrumlings tell them to do. In a just world the Dem consultants would be working at Taco Bell, getting yelled at by a 19-year-old shift manager for putting too many refried beans on the Spicy Beefy Chicken Cruchwrap Salad Supreme Nacho Burrito Chalupa Gordo Bell Grande.

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