WWW The Thinkery
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
(3:30 PM) | Stephen:

Oklahoma's Legislature has passed a bill that declares the Watermelon the state's official vegetable. See, the strawberry is already their state fruit, so obviously they needed to. . . .find a way to honor the watermelon.

It's obvious, really. Sure, the watermelon is a fruit*, but the only other option would have been to not honor the watermelon! Unthinkable.

Why is it that we have state fruits, vegetables, insects and all that?


If you are the type of person who can't be honest with your loved ones, then have I got a product for you. It's called "My Last Letter." It gives you a chance to write down all your true feelings about everything and everyone, secure in the knowledge that you will finally let everyone know how you truly feel without any consequences. You can admit the love you carried in your heart, confess your betrayals, let the police know where the bodies are hidden, tell off bosses and family members, and they'll never be able to do anything about it!


Do you have an insensitive jerk of a friend or family member who died and then took the coward's way out, having an email sent to you after the funeral tell you all their secrets and true feelings? Is the pain of your husband's death made worse by a postmortem confession of a bunch of other wives? Did your recently deceased mom just tell you that your father isn't your father?

Don't live with burning anger and crushing hurt for the rest of your life! Let the jerk know exactly how you feel with Afterlife Telegrams! For only $5 per word (min. 5 words), you can have your message memorized by a terminally ill person who will personally deliver your message immediately upon death!


Baby Einstein videos apparently don't make your kids smarter. Also, wishing on stars is a surprisingly ineffective way to accomplish anything and Abraham Lincoln and JFK don't have nearly as many connections as you have heard. People could do with a bit of expectations management.

*Don't quote watermelon.org at me and try to say that it's both. Just because something is vegetation doesn't mean it's a vegetable. If you're eating a plant's ovary, it's a fruit. And watermelons are nothing if not very big, tasty ovaries.

<< Home
About The Thinkery
Site feed

Recent Entries
Sausage Roll Pizza!
Breaking The Sabbath Commandment*
What. The. Poop.
Thank You, Kansas GOP
I Am Not The Faith
I'm Back. Did You Know I Was Gone?
Balanced On The Knife Edge
Sick Freaks
Keeping Faith Through Unbelief



Ezra Klein
Harp and Sword
Brilliant At Breakfast
In This Moment
Faith and Theology
Theology and Biblical Studies
Internet Monk
Boar's Head Tavern
Jesus Creed
Sacra Doctrina
Maggi Dawn
Shadows of Divine Things
Foolish Sage
Per Caritatem
James K.A. Smith
The Ethical Werewolf
A Pedestrian View
Brilliant At Breakfast

May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
March 2008
January 2075

Powered by Blogger

My Ecosystem Details>